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Did you ever wonder why some women have all the men chasing them and others sit at home alone—including you? And doesn’t it seem strange that it doesn’t matter what their ages are—the men are still buzzing around them?
I have a friend who is 74 who continually has interesting, successful men asking her out. When I grow up, I want to be just like her. She has charm. She has style. She is a man magnet.
Recently, I asked one of these attraction mavens what her secrets were. Interestingly enough, there is research to substantiate what she said. Listed here are five secret tips to help you attract the man you want:
1.Stand in the middle of the room.
Not when you are at home alone, of course, but when you go out to parties or social functions, try standing in the center of the room. While you are standing there, do not hunch your shoulders, slouch, or wear shoes that hurt your feet. You don’t want to look in pain. Good posture and a smile on your face mean everything when you want to draw people to you.
Another good place to stand if you are at a club or a pub, is at the corners of the bar. It’s easier to meet people there. Bartenders tend to talk to the people at the corners, and you are easier to approach. The worst place to be seen is hanging out near the wall or sitting at a table or booth with people. You are difficult to approach if you are in a huddle with others. Go places with friends, but break away from them periodically and talk to people on your own.
2.Be friendly.
To get the man you want, you are going to have to speak up. When you see someone interesting, move near him—gracefully—and start a conversation. Ask a question and be prepared to listen to his answer. If you decide you like him, stay and keep talking. Some people tell me they can’t do this because they were rejected in the past and they are afraid they will be hurt again. If this is true for you, begin practicing your conversational skills on people at work, in stores, at the gas station, and everywhere you go. Don’t wait until you are out at a social event where you could potentially meet someone before you attempt talking to strangers. If you are serious about wanting to date, you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone and make an effort to reach out to people. No one can do it for you.
3.Look your best.
This may sound obvious, but you never know where or when you are going to meet someone. Never go out of the house without looking your best. Even if you are headed to the gym or just a run around the block, wear some lipstick, and comb your hair. Know what colors you look good in and wear flattering clothes in your best shades. Men are attracted to pinky-peach, which is a color that is flattering to most skin tones. People are also attracted to you when you are wearing one of the colors of your eyes. Choose clothes that match one of those colors when you want to be magnetic.
4.Be aware of your body language.
Body language speaks louder than words. Some of the most universal attraction gestures are to smile a lot, look him in the eyes, tilt your head, drop your gaze, and then look back. This may sound contrived, but it helps to know what subliminal messages you are sending with your actions. Apparently, giving your hair a slight flip is also an attraction signal, as well as stroking your neck or the inside of your arm. I have seen women practice some of these mannerisms, completely clueless that they were telegraphing men to approach them. Be aware of what you are doing so you can choose the people you want to respond to you. Know the power of your body language and use it responsibly.
5.What not to do.
Attractive women know not to chew gum, crunch ice, pick their nails, or shake their foot nervously. Women who get the man they want know how to modulate their voices, so that they are not too loud or too whispery shy. Gossip, negativity, and complaints will not get you the response you seek if you are looking for a date or a soul mate. Remember to monitor your language, not using words or stories that might offend others. Also, do not talk about your Ex. That seems to be almost impossible for some people, but it is a major turnoff. If you spend more than 20 percent of your time talking about your problems, chances are that most men will walk away.
When you go out, practice some of the above five secrets. (Yes, you must go out if you want to meet someone.) Being an attraction magnet simply means that you are in control of your evening, your week, and your life. Have a great time!
Tonja Evetts Weimer, M.A., is an R.C.I. Master Certified Single’s Coach and Life Coach. For her free single’s newsletter, or if you want to contact her, email tonja@tonjaweimer.com. |
